Monday Digest: Resilient Crypto Market, $350 Billion Gains in 24 Hours
Inside the Political Whiplash Rewriting Crypto’s Rules
Last Friday, it seemed like crypto winter 2.0 was knocking on our doors. Over $350 million was wiped out, the Fear and Greed Index tanked to 10 (a reading so low we hadn’t seen since the Terra meltdown), and Bitcoin slid under $80K. Crypto Twitter was already writing obituaries. It was all doom, gloom, and people swearing they'd never trade again—until the next bull run, of course. I even titled last week tuesday digest - Tuesday Market: Is It Time to Panic or Time to Buy? (Or Just Cry?).
Shame on me!!
Then, out of nowhere, the President sent out one tweet, and boom—Bitcoin was back above $90K, reminding everyone that this market has more plot twists than a Netflix thriller. If you held strong, congratulations. If you panic-sold, condolences—you’ve just been part of another episode of "The Market Hates You Personally." See what Binance CZ had to say about the bull run driver:
So, what’s causing all this chaos? Let’s break it down.
🔦 Spotlight: The Week’s Wildest Stories
The Ultimate Crypto Betrayal? Bitcoin maxis feel abandoned after Trump includes XRP, Solana, and Cardano in the U.S. crypto reserve plan.
Crypto's Wild Rally After a Presidential Tweet: One tweet, billions gained—who's next on the list?
Let’s Talk About Bybit For a Moment… North Korean hackers have laundered 69% of the $1.4 billion stolen. Why is nobody stopping them?
Now, About That Miracle Trade… A trader nearly lost everything—until Trump saved them with a tweet. Insider trading, dumb luck, or divine intervention?
1️⃣. The Ultimate Crypto Betrayal?
Bitcoin maxis are not okay right now.
Donald Trump just announced that the President's Working Group on Digital Assets will be adding XRP, Solana, and Cardano to the "crypto strategic reserve." This is a far cry from his Bitcoin 2024 conference keynote, where he basically pledged his undying loyalty to BTC like it was a campaign donor.
To make things worse, the first announcement didn’t even mention Bitcoin. Maxis are now having an existential crisis, asking themselves: Has Trump truly forsaken the one true coin? The betrayal levels are approaching "your best friend dating your ex" territory. Stay tuned.
2️⃣. Crypto's Wild Rally After a Presidential Tweet
If you thought one man couldn’t pump the entire market with a tweet, think again.
Bitcoin and Ethereum jumped more than 10% in just 24 hours after Trump clarified they would still be included in the U.S. crypto reserve (after initially ghosting BTC in his announcement). Bitcoin rebounded to $94,130 from a low of $78,940, reminding everyone that it has the emotional stability of a reality TV contestant.
Meanwhile, XRP shot up 35% to $2.92, Solana climbed 24% to $175, and Cardano hit an outrageous 68% spike to $1.07. This left traders either euphoric or in tears, depending on whether they were on the right side of the market.
Now the big question: what other coins is Trump planning to add? Dogecoin believers are waiting in the shadows, ready to bark.
3️⃣. Let’s Talk About Bybit For a Moment…
North Korean hackers are laundering stolen crypto like it’s a full-time job (which, to be fair, it probably is).
They’ve now successfully laundered 69% of the $1.4 billion they stole from Bybit, converting stolen ETH into BTC, DAI, and other assets via decentralized exchanges. Even after the FBI stepped in and flagged hacker-linked wallets, the stolen funds are still slipping through the cracks.
Meanwhile, THORChain—one of the protocols enabling these transactions—is in the middle of its own drama, with a developer quitting over a controversial vote on whether to block these funds. At this point, stopping these hackers seems about as effective as trying to stop a toddler from drawing on the walls.
4️⃣. Now, About That Miracle Trade…
A trader just pulled off what might be the luckiest trade in crypto history—or the most suspicious.
This anonymous trader had $200 million in leveraged positions, teetering on the edge of liquidation. At one point, Ethereum’s price dipped so low that they were just $54 away from losing over $2 million instantly. Then, just as all hope seemed lost, Trump's tweet hit the internet, and prices soared, netting the trader a casual $7 million profit.
Coincidence? Insider knowledge? Divine intervention? Either way, they cashed out before Trump clarified Bitcoin and Ethereum’s inclusion, leaving even more gains on the table. Imagine making $7 million and still having regrets—must be nice.
🎯 The Bottom Line
This week proved crypto’s resilience—and its vulnerability to political theater. Trump’s tweets move markets more than halvings or upgrades. North Korea launders billions while protocols debate ethics. And traders gamble $200M on margin calls narrower than a Satoshi.
What’s Next:
Watch Trump’s crypto reserve updates (DOGE ETF, anyone?).
Track Lazarus’ remaining $400M in ETH.
Pray your leverage isn’t Trump’s next tweet victim.
Stay sharp. Markets move faster than ever. 🔗 Subscribe for real-time breakdowns